Baltimore: or the Steadfast Tin Soldier and the Vampire

Based on Hans Christian Anderson's The Steadfast Tin Soldier, Baltimore: or the Steadfast Tin Soldier and the Vampire maintains the charm and wonder of Anderson at his best while giving us a very affecting thriller. One of the tests of any genre piece (although squeezing this book to make it fit into some niche would be a mistake) is whether or not the story could stand on its own even if you removed the elements from it puts it into a genre and guarantees some kind of audience. And while the content of this book is not really appropriate for anyone under a certain age, it reads like a children’s book. (And yes, that is a compliment.) It follows the logic of a fairy tale. (Also a compliment.)

We start out following Captain Henry Baltimore, leading an assault against the Hessians and losing every single man in his company. As he regains consciousness, he sees the bodies of his soldiers all around, over and under him and then, to his horror, bat like creatures swoop down and start to feast. He manages to wound one of the little monsters, inadvertently starting a war between vampire and man. Most of the characters in this story are fueled by loss and revenge. The wounded bat avenges himself against Baltimore and Baltimore in turn devotes his life to hunting down the monster that destroyed everything he loved. He hammers a nail into his wooded leg for every vampire killed until it is so heavy that he has to drag it along.

The bulk of the story centers around three men who knew Baltimore and obey his summons to meet in a small city, overrun by the Red Plague. The three of them sit and swap stories about Baltimore and other implausible experiences they’ve each had. Much of the book reads almost like a collection of shorts, but they are skillfully woven together into one story arc. After following each of these men, along with Baltimore back into their bizarre past encounters with profound evil, I felt the weight of the fear and imminent loss during the final climax when everything comes together.

The only complain I had with this book (and it’s a minor one) is that the anti-war message felt a little preachy at times. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t overbearing. Mignola and Golden don’t beat you over the head, but it is there. I didn’t really mind it too much since I’m very sanctimonious and further to the left than like anyone I know. The only reason I mention this is that it came right at the climax of the book and was just a bit distracting. The message could’ve been a bit more subtle. It moves it from a 9.9 out of 10 to a 9.85 out of 10. At any rate, this is a minor complaint. Fucking read this book.